Am I a writer?/Acknowledging success.

Am I a writer?/Acknowledging success.

Something happened last night that has made think about the way I define myself as a writer. As you can see from the blog title, I consider myself an aspiring author. I may not consider myself an author yet, but maybe I should consider myself a writer?

To put this into context, I need to explain that I grew up in England at a time when showing off was not something that was approved of. I do not why this was, but it has left its mark on me. I have a deep seated dislike of showing off. I do not have a problem with others doing it. If anything, I envy them. It occurs to me that I really need to think about it as publicizing myself rather than showing off. Oh, and to the people who knew me when I was the younger, brasher, version of me, I no longer have the confidence I once had, or the need to show off has left me as I have matured.

Even as I am thinking what I am about to write, I feel uneasy. I know I am going to mention a few things that I have done recently as a means to point out my own fear of admitting success, yet within this, I am unhappy that I am going to have to come too close to my concept of showing off. Then again, perhaps it is this very concept that I need to change? We may well find out by the end of this post. 

I was on LinkedIn and I saw a post that asked about the application process for Fringe Theatre Festivals. I had a rare moment of feeling ‘Hey, I know about that. I can answer those questions.’ So I did answer those questions. In the process I mentioned that I ended up writing a play called ‘The Poe Show’ after I posted on Facebook that I fancied writing a play.

Another person (a professor no less) commented later on and asked ‘You did what??? Did you really write a play after posting on Facebook?’ 

It took me a moment or two to figure out that she was impressed. She asked if I minded if she shared it with her students as they would find it a hoot. I am naturally assuming they will find it a hoot in the positive sense. 

Interlude – I am sorry. I am going to stop for a moment and give myself a damn good talking to. I can’t even accept that the students will be positive about this. Back in a sec. 

A sec.

Back. Ok. I am going to write this next bit with gritted teeth. (Drat. If this were a letter, I could make a gag about putting ground teeth into the ink, but such is life in the modern age of technology). 

I created an opportunity out of nothing that led to writing a play. I wrote that play in two weeks. The play went on to win a Best of Fest award. I have since been asked to write two more plays as a result of this. A professor thinks this is worth sharing with her students. These are the facts. So why do I feel so uncomfortable acknowledging my successes? 

I simply do not know. I do know that I am getting increasingly annoyed with myself for not acknowledging them. So, I am resolved to acknowledge them. I have a feeling like taking bad tasting medicine. I am not going to like it right now, but in the long term, it will be good for me. 

Part of me feels that I cannot call myself a fully fledged author until I get a book published. I mean no disrespect to anyone who has written plays and had them produced. You have every right to consider yourself a writer, but hey, this is my blog, so it comes with my issues and insecurities. 

Wait. Ah goddammit. I just realised I am being an idiot. It is the difference between my concept of being an author and being a writer that is the problem. I do not see myself as an author, but that doesn’t mean I should ignore any success I have with my writing. Ah, a revelation. That felt good. I can call myself a writer and not feel (too) bad about it. (Hey, it is all part of the process right? I can’t it 100% right straight off the bat).

Well, that was an abrupt ending.

I do feel better though. I hope this post can make someone else feel better too.

Take care buddies,




About davidmbeecroft

Hello and welcome to my blog. Please feel free to have an explore. My name is David Beecroft. I am 38 years old. I co-founded and ran a small scale touring theatre company called Screwed & Clued in 1998. I went on to tour the Canadian Fringe Theatre Festival circuit over the following five years. I have written six original plays, the last ‘The Poe Show’ won a Best in Fest award at the 2014 Ottawa Fringe Festival. I worked in a social care setting for ten years and now work in a special needs school. I have sent my first novel off to agents and considering self-publishing if that does not work. I co-host a radio show on Surrey Hills Community Radio called Daves of the Week where we feature charities for a six week period. I live with my fiance and two pet Degus. I started this blog when suffering from depression and attending therapy, so a large part of this blog was about my experience and thoughts of that. Since then I am in a much better place and I write about life after depression and how I stay (or try to) ahead of it happening again. I also like to look at the happier sides of life and try to put a positive spin on serious subjects.

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