Live from the Booth – Brussel Sprouts are not the Breakfast of Champions.

Live from the Booth – Brussel Sprouts are not the Breakfast of Champions.

I was back doing my food testing this morning. It was in a different room than before. It was huge and held fifty people. The tables were divided by a white screen of wood. Quite why this was, I am not sure. It really did not stop me seeing the person sat next to me. And its not like I was in an exam and someone could copy my answers. Talking of the person sat next to me, I discovered a new game to play. It is called chair roulette.

When I got there, the chairs were half full. I naturally sat at a table with two empty chairs. Even though I am engaged and have no intention of hitting on anyone, I make it a point to never sit next to a girl, because, well, who wants to be that creepy guy? (except for that actual creepy guy). So, I was alone at my table and in one of those moods where I just want to be left alone and do a bit of writing in between tests. So, obviously, someone sat next to me and started to chat away. Now, I am not here to judge, and he was actually a pretty cool guy. He did tell me however, that he leaves messages on the ipads we use for the next person to read. One the messages he left was ‘I am watching you.’

So, I carried on writing and thought about how chair roulette works. I heard one guy behind me chatting away like mad to a young girl who was clearly trying to exit the conversation, but utterly unable to do so. I guess the trick is to either pick an empty table and hope for the best. Or sit next to someone who doesn’t look crazy. Then again, what if the person I sit next to thinks ‘Oh jeez. Chair roulette has screwed me this time with this guy.’

The first test was brussel sprouts. Now, brussel sprouts are not the breakfast of champions and are no way nice to start my eating day with. However, I soldiered bravely on. There was a long break between tests, so I got to thinking about the other people at the testing. A section in my book reminded me of the situation. 

‘The train carriage, Emillina noted, was curiously busy for mid-morning on a Monday; it was almost full.

‘They can’t all be off to save their fathers from old age and retrieve a very unusual watch from a nasty old lady.’ she said to herself. ‘Then again, if I am off on an adventure, then there is no reason that they aren’t off on an adventure too.’

Emillina thought that if it were happening to her then it could easily be happening to anyone else and wished them all good luck on their individual adventures, whatever they might be.’

It occurred to me that I knew why I was there, but what about everyone else? What were their stories? I really got hooked on this idea. Why was the girl in front of me fingering a ring so much? Was she regretting the decision to say yes when she was proposed too? Did it have sentimental value? I should add here that my imagination tends to run away with me. It can be great for stories, but it can be a problem in real life. I saw people reading papers or books. I am guessing that the people playing candy crush had given up on life (lol, I know that is going to annoy people, but relax, it is just a joke). 

Then, a serious thought came to me. It came from watching one guy eat everything he was given. I mean all of it. You don’t need to finish the samples, but he did. I then thought about the rise in people using food shelters or soup kitchens in the past few years. I wonder if people were there to earn some money, but also to be fed because they couldn’t afford food. This idea bummed me out, because it is most likely an actual thing. Sad times. 

Two side things. One, I sat under the air-con so I was low level shivering for the entire session. Which is also probably why I have a cold now. But fear not, no cold will stop me from blogging (but perhaps it should will be the retort from some). Two, we now get metal cutlery instead of plastic. I know; ooh la la right?

Oh yeah, I got asked the most mind bending question. I was asked to describe the texture of cloudy lemonade. How do you describe the texture of a liquid? It was a ‘there is no spoon’ moment and I just did not know how to answer. 

Oh, and to end on a good note, there was a problem in the kitchen so they had to cancel some of the tests. I worked till 11.30 and got paid until 12.00. Good times. 

Take care buddies, 




About davidmbeecroft

Hello and welcome to my blog. Please feel free to have an explore. My name is David Beecroft. I am 38 years old. I co-founded and ran a small scale touring theatre company called Screwed & Clued in 1998. I went on to tour the Canadian Fringe Theatre Festival circuit over the following five years. I have written six original plays, the last ‘The Poe Show’ won a Best in Fest award at the 2014 Ottawa Fringe Festival. I worked in a social care setting for ten years and now work in a special needs school. I have sent my first novel off to agents and considering self-publishing if that does not work. I co-host a radio show on Surrey Hills Community Radio called Daves of the Week where we feature charities for a six week period. I live with my fiance and two pet Degus. I started this blog when suffering from depression and attending therapy, so a large part of this blog was about my experience and thoughts of that. Since then I am in a much better place and I write about life after depression and how I stay (or try to) ahead of it happening again. I also like to look at the happier sides of life and try to put a positive spin on serious subjects.

22 responses »

  1. “my imagination tends to run away with me. It can be great for stories, but it can be a problem in real life” – I have the same problem – though it’s not really a ‘problem’ – it’s a fun exercise specially when you’re stuck in traffic or in a long line.


    • It can be good. It sometimes gets dangerously close to paranoia when I get carried with a story about a person I am not getting on with though. Like thinking someone ringing the door bell is an assassin come to get me.


      • Haha! I know the feeling. When I was a kid I wanted to be Harriet the Spy so bad I’d make up stories about our neighbors.
        I bet you’re a good liar, not necessarily a bad lie, just really good in coming up with excuses. Maybe I should have said excuses right away instead of lie.


      • Lol. I am a very good liar. I will be honest. I tend to lie for the fun of it sometimes. Nothing bad, just to see if I can get away with something I am saying. I blame my uncle. He told me when I was a kid that no matter what you are saying, no matter how outlandish it is, is you say it with conviction and stick with it, people will eventually go ‘Ok, I guess that must be true. He seems so certain.’ And yes, I am also very good at making up excuses. It is so cute how you said lie then felt bad about it and changed it to excuses. Do not worry. I am not easily offended. Harriet the Spy eh? What stories did you make up about your neighbours?


      • Same here! I used to pretend that I was some sort of magazine writer/food critic. And would go to small time restaurants and pretend that I’m going to write a “piece” about their place. And I’d get a free meal. Haha. In my defense, I was 17, I just moved out of my parents house, I was drugged with freedom and crippled by my empty wallet.Maybe that’s why I felt bad about saying lie.

        I used to make up stories about our neighbors that could maybe implicate them. I’d write down in my “spy book” that so and so is taking drugs and would steal a used bottle from their trash and lift finger prints from it and stick it on my spy book. Haha. I was a weird kid.


      • You were an awesome kid. I love that you had a ‘spy book’ and that you went all CSI on them with the fingerprint trick. Last month my friend Marton, who works at a pub we like, offered to book us a table for dinner. He then told the chef at the pub he works for that I was a food critic. So, we pretended that I was and it was pretty funny. I did feel bad when I saw how nervous the chef was though. We are naughty, sneaky peeps. Perfect spy material now I think about it.


      • Haha. I was a weeeeird kid. Like no one wanted to hang around with me weird. And I always carry a voice recorder but people can’t see the recorder so they think that Im just talking to myself.

        Man. People with very active imaginations are the best to hang around with. You just end up doing crazy shit together.

        Did you get indigestion from that meal you pretend food critic you. Haha.


      • I would have hung out with you and this is why. I was thinking yesterday about a trick to use when I don’t want to be in a conversation with someone. I am going to suddenly put my finger in my ear and then speak into my sleeve ‘Yes sir. Target acquired’ and then walk away.


      • Sexy? Not this oversized black rimmed glasses. Haha nothing sexy about this *points at myself*

        I can substitute it with a fake accent. That is something that a spy would do right? haha


      • Our ‘mission’ calls for a Natasha Romanoff-esque accent, I think. Wait, wont you get in trouble pulling stunts like that in America? Wait, are you in America? I forgot to ask.


      • Ah cool. I know a big group of pinos (is that right?) here. We were playing poker with them last week. So you are going for Black Widow voice? Hmm. Guess I will have to go American. But start with an English accent to confuse them more.


      • It’s Pinoys. Oh yeah, we’re everywhere. I’m not in the philippines right now.

        I can do a pretty convincing English accent, I think. Man, can I just say that your comedies are just the best.


      • Ah. I was close. I know you English comedies are the best but I am totally taking that as my own personal comedies are the best. So thank you 🙂

        Sent from my iPhone


        Liked by 1 person

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