Womb Envy Wednesday – The new Ferapy Friday, which was the new Therapy Thursday.

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Womb Envy Wednesday – The new Ferapy Friday, which was the new Therapy Thursday.

So, my therapy has now moved to a Wednesday. So, welcome to Womb Envy Wednesday. Yes, this is the best name I could come up with. My girlfriend is a therapist, so I did ask. It was this or Willhelm Wednesday, but hey, who is Willhelm? And, I totally have womb envy. I have often thought that if I were a women, I would get nothing done. I would spend all my time playing with my breasts and having multiple orgasms until I passed out.

Thought. Is God a woman? Think about it. It works both ways. A female God gives women a clitorous and multiple orgasms. But, and this is the kicker, she makes men not be able to find the clit or give multiple orgasms. (Obviously I know where the clit is. It is just behind the elbow). She also makes women get the same chemical response from chocolate as from orgasms, but that makes it super hard to diet. If God is a women, she has a interesting way of treating her home girls.

This is something I have often thought about from a female perspective. How do men ever get laid? Seriously. From a neutral perspective, the female form is way more attractive. Men have bits that look like the last turkey in a butchers. Women, are all soft and curvy. Why do women choose men? I am thankful that they do, or I would have had ten different wrist surgeries by now.

Back to the point. Therapy today was great. I got stuff off my chest and I actually got my therapist to agree, that actually, yes, it is a shit situation, the others are in the wrong and that I am handling it all really well considering. When someone is paid to question what you are saying and look for the hidden issues and what I might be repressing, to have her say, yeah, that is bad and you are totally right to be angry, it means a lot. It is like getting a gold star from your favourite teacher.

So, I am in buoyant mood and I want to pass on this little thought for anyone feeling down. Remember this; always give yourself credit for dealing with a situation. You may or may not have handled it well, but you tried and the next time will be easier. And the time after that easier still. You are doing awesome for getting out of bed in the morning and giving it your best. Don’t forget that. It is so easy to be depressed and slam yourself for every little mistake, but don’t. Acknowledge that you are making progress. Be nice to yourself. Buy that sweater as a treat. You deserve it.

Anyway, I wishs everyone all the best and as much happiness as you can handle.

Take care buddies,

David.

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About davidmbeecroft

Hello and welcome to my blog. Please feel free to have an explore. My name is David Beecroft. I am 38 years old. I co-founded and ran a small scale touring theatre company called Screwed & Clued in 1998. I went on to tour the Canadian Fringe Theatre Festival circuit over the following five years. I have written six original plays, the last ‘The Poe Show’ won a Best in Fest award at the 2014 Ottawa Fringe Festival. I worked in a social care setting for ten years and now work in a special needs school. I have sent my first novel off to agents and considering self-publishing if that does not work. I co-host a radio show on Surrey Hills Community Radio called Daves of the Week where we feature charities for a six week period. I live with my fiance and two pet Degus. I started this blog when suffering from depression and attending therapy, so a large part of this blog was about my experience and thoughts of that. Since then I am in a much better place and I write about life after depression and how I stay (or try to) ahead of it happening again. I also like to look at the happier sides of life and try to put a positive spin on serious subjects.

3 responses »

  1. Breasts have their downsides too. Believe me they’re not fun 24/7. And yes the clit is behind the elbow, which makes it hard for women to lick their own clit (woah! I was going for a joke there). And also, I am in total agreement with you that women are gorgeous – not because I’m one, we just are. But men, oy, men are also very attractive. And not just men with six packs.

    Liked by 1 person

    • Thank God it is not just men with six packs. Us slightly portly men need love too. And isn’t hard for women to lick their own clit with where it actually is now? Unless a person is a contortionist.

      Like

      • “And isn’t hard for women to lick their own clit with where it actually is now?” – I don’t want to elaborate on this. Haha.

        Like

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