I am laying down as I am writing this to stop the room from spinning. I have the mother of all hangovers but I am a brave little soldier so I will manfully carry on.
We had a great time at the Virgin Care party.
We arrived and I skilfully put the tent up with no instructions. Actually there were instructions but I didn’t see them until this morning as unskilfully put the tent away.
Then Gauri did my face so I was all pretty.
See? How pretty am I? I went for the third eye design as I thought it might give me psychic powers. It did not or I would have known how I was going to feel and I would not have drunk as much.
We had Cypriot kebabs. Gauri had chicken. I had Haloumi cheese. The hot sauce was Hawt! There were three ladies on stilts. How they did not fall over walking over a lumpy field is amazing. One lady danced better on stilts than I do off them.
Then we started to drink. They had a weird system where you had to buy tokens in order to buy drinks. I am not sure why. The cocktails were great. Well, they were yesterday. Today I hate them for what they have done to me.
They had human fusball. We cheered a lady who kept making saves with her breasts. And then we laughed at a lady next to us who got hit by the football.
We went on the dodgems and then I got over my extreme fear of heights and went on the chair swing. It was only ten foot high but still it was super scary. I managed to let my death grip on the chains go and stuck my arms out and sang ‘My Heart Will Go On.’
Then it all gets a bit blurry. We met someone who deals with infected penises. We danced. Gauri had an entire pot of golden glitter poured over her. We ate burgers. We met strangers who became friends. The music was awesome.
At some point I ‘acquired’ a black poncho and ran around like Batman, swishing my cape dramatically and shouting ‘I am the night’.
The last thing I remember was chatting to people about my writing and my book. Then I woke up with my shoes still on. Hardcore!
We packed at went to Oxford for Gauri’s favourite falafel wrap. Seriously, she was more excited about the wrap than the party. Mine is in the fridge as I can’t face eating anything.
Now I am off to lie down and watch Supernatural.
Take care buddies,