I had the great fortune to be able to go to Glasgow recently. It was a double bonus of a trip as Gauri and I were going to a friend of hers wedding reception and her cousin also goes to university there.
We set off for Stansted airport a good four hours in advance as Gauri gets seriously worried about being stuck in traffic. It was the last day the Dartford tunnel was going to have people operated toll booths and the roadworks had begun. What will those toll booth operators do for a job now? Damn you technology! (Raises fist to the sky).
In the airport we sat and drank while we waited. We were on holiday after all. We watched the news about Black Friday coming to Britain and watched people go literally mad as they shopped like it was the last day on Earth. Or the last sale ever at least. Which is not the case. The next one is on Boxing Day right?
At the security gate I was made to remove my belt. This posed a problem as my jeans were too big for me and I was scared they were going to make me raise my arms for a pat down and without my hands to hold them up, fellow passengers would be subjected to the sight of me in my Jake the Dog boxer shorts.
Did I mention that I used to have a serious phobia about flying? Yes. This was the first time in five years I have flown. It was really not that bad. I looked out of the window and everything. I even got praise for not squeezing Gauri’s hand as hard as a woman in labour during take off. I mean I was the one taking off. If a woman in labour and taking off in a plane, she would indeed have a case for a serious hand squeeze.
We landed and it was a bumpy one. We talked too loudly for a bit due to our ears popping while changing altitude. Then we got on the bus and headed to Glasgow. The bus had leather seats and free wi-fi, which is just outstanding. We got off the bus and we met with Gauri’s cousin.
He lead us through the streets and this is what I saw…
See? I told you there would be photos later on. Ye have little faith. And at Christmas time too.
I love me some good Christmas lights.
Now, I am not entirely sure what this actually is. All I know is that it looks stunning.
A light reindeer. I mean come on. How ace is that?
Normal sized snow globe with very tiny real live people.
Now, I found out something amazing. Greggs (and for those not in the know, it is a bakery shop that sells pies, pasties, sausage rolls etc) in Glasgow stays open until 5.00am. The Greggs in Leatherhead (where I live, don’t worry, you won’t have heard of it) stays open till 5.30pm. That is eleven and a half hours of potential for me getting a pie, or a pasty, or a sausage roll, or even a jam doughnut if I am in the mood that I do not have access to where I live. That is not fair. In fact I did not believe such a wondrous thing could be true so I demanded they show me one so I could take a photo.
Also, Greggs and Subway both have bouncers in them at night. I am not judging. I found out the town where I grew up in has the same thing on weekends. I do wonder though, what goes wrong with a Subway ordering experience that leads to the need for a bouncer to stop a fight? How bad can someone want a meatball sub that they resort to fisticuffs? Anyways.
There was drinking involved. And dancing. And, mostly on my part, bad singing.
On Saturday night, we were taken to a burger bar called Bun Meats Burger. The special was a breaded pheasant, white pudding, Sri Lankan curry sauce, pickled carrots and pickled cabbage Burger. There may have been other things in there, but as you can see, there was a lot to remember. There was also Kimchi Cheese Chips and Mac Nuggets. It took me an hour to figure out that Scottish Macaroni Cheese in Breadcrumbs is a Mac Nugget. The reason there are no photos is that we were to hungry and got to eating as soon as was humanly possible.
I won’t show the pictures of the wedding reception as I am not sure if it is ok to do it, so I am erring on the side of caution. What I can report is that I danced so hard that three days later I am only now able to walk properly again. It was the song that goes ‘Jump up jump up and get down.’ I thought he had a compelling argument so I went with it. Sadly, like Icarus, I jumped too high and landed too hard. My calves were danced into oblivion. I can assure you that trying to limp with both legs at the same time is no easy feet. (Ba dom tish – high hat noise).
So, after taking a last, and very painful walk through Glasgow, we headed home the next day. Or we tried to.
This is the view from the stairwell we had the pleasure of getting to know as our plane was delayed and then cancelled. I won’t say the name of the Airline in case they sue me. Seriously, that happens now. You bad mouth companies, they come for you. And your puppies.
We got back at 12.30am and Gauri drove back. I can’t drive, so I think this was sensible. The toll booths were already being dismantled. We sang on the way back and watched Grey’s Anatomy before collapsing.
Thank you Glasgow. You were awesome.