Do you ever get the feeling the universe is teaching you a lesson? Do you then get the feeling it is teaching you a lesson in a slightly smug way?
I feel exactly like that today. I should probably give you a context. It seems like the proper and sensible thing to do in this situation. Long story short, an idea was presented and then the idea was put on hold. Naturally (well, naturally for me), panic and fear kicked in and I wondered what I had done wrong and how had I upset people etc etc etc.
Then I did something that I don’t usually do. I did nothing. In bygone days, I would have got angry and shouted and sworn bloody vengeance. Surprisingly, this did not turn to be the best tactic. So, with the help of my nearest and dearest and a very helpful councillor, I have learnt to approach things in different ways.
I tried a new tactic of not reacting at first and just seeing what happened. No over-reacting, no jumping to conclusions and no worrying for no reason. Certainly no rants on Facebook or blogs. Ok, this is not technically true. Or, it is true, but only partially. This is what I did publicly. I didn’t react or worry in public. Inside my head however, well I tried my best to not get carried away with thoughts and worries, but they would invade my brain despite me not wanting them to. I did manage not to let them carry me away on a tide of fear, so I am taking that as a positive overall.
As I was sat there worrying and trying not to worry at the same time, I thought ‘You are worrying for no reason. You don’t know what happened and until you do, there is no point worrying.’ And then I worried some more. It was then that I felt the universe peer over my shoulder like Nick Hewer from The Apprentice and raise an enquiring eyebrow at my worry. I could almost feel it sigh at me.
Four days later and everything was ok. The idea was liked. I might even go so far as to say it was admired. Ooooh! The joy at finding everything had worked out was slightly tempered by the realisation that I had once again been taught a lesson. There was no point in worrying before I knew what happened. The universe shrugged and and intimated ‘I told you so.’ In my defence, the universe does kind of hedge its bets. If something works out it was meant to be. If it doesn’t work out, it was not meant to be.
It was right though. In my new role as my own therapist, I do consider things more. I see that I am capable of choosing how to react to things (outwardly at least) and that I have changed as a person. It is weird sometimes. I don’t recognise my behaviour but in a positive way. I thought the other day ‘I totally didn’t get angry and lose it. That’s a new one.’
So, I am thinking 2015 is going to be good. If 2014 was sorting myself out, then 2015 is putting what I learnt into practise. Let’s see what happens and what other lessons the universe is going to teach.
Take care buddies,