(Warning – contains spoilers but the movies concerned are not that good, so I would not worry about watching them).
I have been catching up on movies recently. I love movies and have been enjoying them since I first watched pirated copies of Disney movies when I was about five or so. For the younger generations, I am talking about piracy when a video, or VHS was recorded onto a blank video or VHS and driven around in the back of cars and delivered to your house by one of your dad’s dodgy mates. I will say this, at least people had to put in some effort to making pirated copies back then. There was none of this press a button to download malarky. Anyways, I have been a tad busy of late and I have missed out on a lot of films. Having some free time I decided to remedy this.
When it comes to watching movies, I have two distinct schools of thought when it comes to choosing them. The first is ‘I have heard great things about this movie, I must watch it.’ The second is ‘This is the first thing on the Netflix list so I will give it a go.’ The second has a decided hit and miss quality to it. So, here are my thoughts on the movies I have watched recently.
I am not going to talk about the casting of Tom Cruise in this movie directly. I am going to mention it in passing, but not for the obvious reasons. There were several things about this movie that bugged the hell out of me. FIrst off was the storyline. I have not read the book, so I do not know how much was changed for the movie. Long (and slightly dull) story short – Five people get shot to hide the murder of one person that a crazy Russian prisoner needed killed to get their construction firm. Fun point, the Russian guy bit off his own fingers and blinded himself in one eye in prison to avoid something or other. I would advise to not commit a crime in the first place, but horses for courses and all that. The first thing that relly bothered me is indirectly related to Tom Cruise being cast in the role of a 6 foot 5 inches character. I do not care about the fact that Tom Cruise was cast in the movie, I have other things to worry about. What did bug me was the decision not to alter the script to acknowledge that he is only five foot six inches. In one scene, a cop ask a hotel clerk if there was anyone staying at the hotel who could kill a women with one punch. The clerk replies the guy in 105 (or whatever room it was) and says, when asked why, take a look at him and you will understand. In the book this would have made sense; the inference being a guy 6 foot 5 inches tall and built like a brick shit house could in theory kill a women with one punch. So why leave the line in for the movie and Tom Cruise? However good an actor he is, he does not look like he could kill a person with one punch. The second thing that really bothered me was the following scene where the policeman (spoiler time – he is a bad guy) comes out of the hotel and, under the impression that somehow Tom Cruise could kill a women with one punch, locks eyes with Reacher as he pulls into the parking lock. There is a close up of the cops hands clenching in anger as he thinks Tom killed this poor girl and goes onto try and chase him down. This is a bullshit scene. The director knows full well the cop is a bad guy and knows that Reacher did not kill the girl. So why the lie to the audience? It is to make the audience think, that cop can’t be a bad guy, he wants to arrest Reacher for murder. This is lazy direction and an attempt to pull the wool over the eyes of the audience with a cheap trick rather than with any style or flair. I mean, treat your audience with respect for God’s sake.
My major problem with this movie is the title. The same goes for Kick-ass. The main character called Kick-Ass basically does bugger all. Sure, he narrates the movies and gets screen time, but what is the point of screen time when you are doing nothing on the screen? All he does seem to do is get beaten up and rely on Hit Girl to save him. So, why wasn’t the movie called Hit Girl? If Batman sat around the Batcave and sent Robin out to do all the hard work, surely Robin would sidle up at some point and say ‘Hey, how about a bit of credit where credit is due?’ So I am saying Kick-ass is a lazy, glory hogging and selfish twat. Also, the movie was pretty shit, but I am mostly annoyed about the title thing.
The November Man.
This actually wasn’t too bad compared to Jack Reacher and Kick-ass 2. Then again, ‘not too bad’ is not what I want from my movies. It was an average story of politcial shennagins and lots of killing. The one thing I did note, was that all fight scenes seem to be the same now. The punch, counter, headbut technique was in all three of the movies. God I miss Jackie Chan. He was inventive with his violence.
Big Hero Six.
The positive film. I loved this. My only complaint/question is this; what is with Disney/Pixar/CGI movies being so utterly tragic in the opening ten minutes? Is it a new rule that I am not aware of? The opeing of Up is the most devastatingly sad opeing to a movie I have ever seen. Big Hero Six follows a similar pattern. I going to be completely honest. I have this weird defect where I do not cry when I should. I do not cry at funerals, but show me a sad opening to a CGI movie and it crushes me. Perhaps it is the juxtaposition of a cartoony/happy movie with death and grief that cuts through my brain and enters parts of my psyche that I otherwise close off. Either way, I do find it a brutal way to teach kids about death, although I suppose there is no good way to do it.
Ok, that is my rant over. I think I am going to follow this up with a post about my hatred of remakes/reboots soon.
Take care buddies,
Image retrieved from here