Monthly Archives: November 2015

David’s Thought of the Day 85.

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David’s Thought of the Day 85.

The thing about advice is that you can listen to it but if it doesn’t ring true with you, then don’t follow it. Choose the path that is right for you at this point in your life. You are of-course  free to not follow this advice. 

Take care buddies, 

David. 

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Blogging – My road map to where I was, where I am and where I might be going.

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Blogging – My road map to where I was, where I am and where I might be going.

I started blogging nearly a year and a half ago. When I started I was quite depressed and about to go into therapy. Now, I am relatively happy and finished therapy some time ago. Looking back on my older posts, I am struck by how things have changed for me in that time.

I think we can all look back on our lives and think ‘I can’t believe I used to be like that’. This can happen in two distinct ways. I look back sometimes and ponder that I was so much more depressed than I am now. I can also look back and wonder why I worry so much now about what people think when I used to not care what others thought of me.

The post in which I wrote about self-harm is still the one that startles me the most simply because I can’t believe I did that. I literally still have the scars to prove it, so I have to face the fact that I did. However, that was where I was, and now is where I am. I do not do that anymore and the only thoughts I have about it now are the ghostly reflection of a now dead thought process.

I can see how my blog posts mostly were on an upward curve during and after therapy. There were of course the occasional dips but therapy does have the habit of unearthing things I had not realised I felt or recalling times I had completely forgotten. That’s therapy for you. What I really like about my blog is that I can’t change the way I remember my life. It is there for me to see in black and white with warts and all.  It is also there for me to see all the good and happy moments I have had as it is all to easy for me to forget the 99% good in favour of the 1% bad.

Yes there were low moments, but what I focus on is that I had a lot more good moments and the low moments lasted for a lot less time. That process led me to where I am now. Where I am now is a good place, but I can’t help but feel I need to drive myself forward to really achieve what I want from life. So, where am I going? Now, that is a question.

Having seen where I have been and where I am now, I am desiring to go to a place I actually want to go. That place is to be happy, positive and of help to others. I am seeking to achieve this by simple steps at first. I have decided that I am going to focus on positive or happy news on my radio show as there is enough doom and gloom to go around as it is and I think the world deserves to be seen in a better light. It is a wonderful place afterall.

I am going to blog more about being positive and happy as I am hoping that it can turn into a positive rather than vicious cycle. I believe that if I concentrate on the good I can feel the polar opposite to how I felt when I focussed on the bad and was depressed. The wheel can go both ways.

Finally, I going to try and be happy and positive. This last one is hard. It is not always easy to do this. It is cold outside, I am tired and want the work week to be over. However, I can look at this another way. I am inside in the warm, I can sleep well in a bed tonight and I am lucky enough to have a job that pays enough for me to be comfortable, if not extravagant. Then again, I never was much one for extravagance. Then I plan to keep trying to be happy. I might falter on the way, but I believe it is a better plan to have than to let my emotions be at the mercy of life’s whims.

Take care buddies,

David.

People Come into Our Lives at the Right Time.

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People Come into Our Lives at the Right Time.

It occurs to me that in the world in which we now live, people can come into our lives in so many different ways. Let’s say that even fifty years ago, what was the chance that someone you never met would be able to have an impact on who you are as a person or how you see the world? Obviously, there were (and thankfully still are books, radio and films), but on a personal level, how would someone you have never met be able to affect us?

This is one of the many reasons I am so very grateful to live in the era we are in. The sheer possibilities are astounding. Yesterday I saw a blog post (http://mixedgirlvibe.com/2015/11/22/stop-being-like-everyone-else/) on Youtube that could not have been more perfectly timed or resonated more with how I was feeling (and actually talking about just before I found it) if it had been written in the stars at the dawn of creation. Who knows, perhaps it was?

The amazing thing for me is that this person will never meet me, or is unlikely to have the slightest interest in my life or me as a person (and why would she? I am not that egocentric to think I am the centre of the universe) but she had for that moment a profound effect on me. For that I am very grateful. The words she said were exactly what I needed to hear at that precise moment in time.

Isn’t that wonderful? Someone I do not know can make my life better simply because I have access to the internet and wordpress. What’s more, this concept is there for a lot of people. Many human beings will be made to feel better about how they feel by the words of someone who is not in the same country or timezone as they are. Or they will feel better because they read that someone experiences the same issues as they do. The list is endless.

What I am astounded by is how with all that is going on with the world and despite the way that negatives are portrayed as being more prevalent than positives, there is still so much that is great about the human race. Wanting to help each other, to grow and improve. To be the best we can be despite the bad in the world and not succumbing to it.

The human race, I salute you.

The Top 20 Catchiest Songs/What are earworms?

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The Top 20 Catchiest Songs/What are earworms?

On my radio show Dave of the Week I play the top twenty catchiest songs as proven by science and discuss what ear worms are, what causes them and how to stop them. I also pledge money live on air to Surrey Hills radio’s Crowd Funder campaign. Oh, and there are anagrams to boot! Listen to the show on the link below 😀

The Virtues of Quiet.

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The Virtues of Quiet.

After a week and a half without the internet and as a result of not owning a T.V, I have had relatively few distractions of late. As a result of this free time I have been in reflective mood. I would love to say that I uncovered the secrets of the universe and attained inner peace, but I did not. It would be a lot to ask for in ten days. I did discover few things that I thought I would share.

The first and most obvious is that I go to extraordinary lengths to distract myself. With no internet I had no Facebook to pointlessly check, no videos of cats to watch on Youtube (why did I feel such a need to spend time doing this?), no emails to look at then instantly delete due to their utter banality and no games to play while taking a poo.

Side note: I ended up reading A Walk in the Woods by Bill Bryson while on the commode and it turns out that book is just as bad as what was coming out of me.

What I came to realise, or rather, what I realised after the first three days of unplugging wires on the router in the vain hope the internet had fixed itself or seeing if neighbours password for their wifi was ‘password’ (it wasn’t), was that with none of these things to distract me, I was actually able to hear myself think.

This was tricky at first because I am not all that fond of myself and having to hear my own thoughts was kind of a drag. There is only so many times I can think the same boring thought without getting annoyed. This may seem a negative way of thinking about me, but it will become clear in due course.

I was sat outside on about day six of no internet when I heard a voice. This may not seem so surprising  but it wasn’t the voice of another person, or even talented Parrot, it was a voice that was quietly trying to get my attention from within my head. With nothing better to do, I stopped and had a listen.

This voice gently told me that it was ok to be quiet. I really do not know where this came from as I was not aware that I thought it wasn’t ok to be quiet, but when you are getting told something by yourself, it is probably wise to listen. Unless the voice is saying something really horrid like ‘I bet if I gave One Direction a chance I would probably like them.’

As I was puzzled I listened. The voice went on to say that it was indeed fine to be quiet, to enjoy the quiet and generally take time out from the technological age we live in. Having no choice about it I carried on having no internet for a few more days and thought about the idea of not having to be loud.

I think there is a real difference between being quiet and not wanting to be noticed. I have been shy for sure and hoped that I could slide through events without attracting attention. Now I see it differently. I no longer desperately want people to notice me as I did when I was younger. I am happy with being quiet. I am happy with not wanting to shout to be heard. I am happy with the idea that if people want to listen to me they can do, but I do not want to force them to.

I am pretty content with the new idea that my own voice in my head is worth listening to. It might have some interesting things to say if I keep on listening, so I will stop here and get off the internet where I have no choice but to write this and stare at the wall for a bit. It is a damn fine bit of wall though.

I will end with a quote that my mum told me when I was much younger that I am only truly starting to understand now ‘Confidence is knowing it but not having to show it.’

Take care buddies,

David.