Monthly Archives: December 2015

When others notice you are down.

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When others notice you are down.

Something just happened. I got a text from a very kind lady who said the reason she contacted me was that she had read my blog posts and thought I was feeling down and unhappy. I am very touched that she cares enough to offer help. It did get me thinking and I need to get this off my chest as I am meant to be working on my book.

Stream of thought.

Reality. Long term at school. New job. Challenging class. Winter. Dark. Lack of energy. Not having headspace or motivation to write and follow my dreams. Family problems. Worried about becoming depressed again.

Partial reality. The above is true, but only for portions of my recent existence. There were also times when I was very happy and filled with joy. Times when I felt valued by myself and others. Times when I saw my future as a bright event on the horizon. (I wonder why I didn’t write more about these?)

Another reality. Keeping going. Staying positive for the most part. Not being unrealistic about feeling tired and down and allowing for it. Seeing that others care and will look after me if I let them. Not giving up on dreams even when they are hard to follow.

The reality of reality is that it is not always real. Or if it is real, then it is not permanent. It is not stuck in stasis and unalterable. It can be seen in a multiverse of different ways. Choose a reality that suits you.

By talking we open ourselves up to help. We may not know we need it, but the offer of help is an act of kindness that shows the best of humanity. I applaud that.

If I/we/you need help ask for it. You may not get it, but you are more unlikely to get it if the request is never made.

I offer help to anyone that needs it. I will accept help from anyone that offers it.

Stream of thought closed (for the meantime).

Dave of the Week 18.12.15 – Positive Radio Show.

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Dave of the Week 18.12.15 – Positive Radio Show.

Here is the link to my latest show in time to make you feel good about the festive season. If you already feel good it will make you feel better. A show packed with good news stories and great music. Listen while you put the tree up or wrap presents. Please share any good news you have. 

Merry Christmas. 

There is a time to surf and a time to wax your board.

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There is a time to surf and a time to wax your board.

The title of this post is from a 1990’s sit-com called Game On and it has stuck with me through the years mainly because it makes a lot of sense. Me being me, I do not always follow concepts that would make my life easier. This weekend however, it was most certainly time to wax my board. (Not a euphemism).

In case you are unclear on what I mean by this phrase, think of it like this; there is a time for doing and a time for not doing. Many of us are doing things all the time; working, cleaning, cooking, laundry and this list can go on and on. A lot of this is unavoidable. What I am going to suggest to you is to find time, even a little, when you don’t do anything. I can already hear people saying there isn’t enough time and this may be true, but I believe there is always room for a little of time for ourselves.

Let me set the scene. Last week was the penultimate week before my school breaks for Christmas holidays and we were rehearsing for the Christmas play. Teachers and pupils alike were tired and everyone was a little down in the dumps. I was exhausted by the end of Monday and still had the rest of the week to go. When I came home, I blogged, worked on my radio show, tidied and basically found anything that I could to keep busy in spite of the fact that I really wanted to do nothing.

I was my own worst enemy in this respect and as I look back I can see that I was creating my own problems by moaning about having to do all these things when in reality, they could have kept for a day or two. The laundry needed doing, but it did not need doing the second I stepped through the door. I wanted to blog but I did not have to blog as soon as I stepped through the door. They both could have kept, but then it wouldn’t have given me the chance to grumble about how busy I was and that I did not have any time to rest. In case you don’t know, I am English and we do tend to like a good grumble.

The crunch point was on Thursday when I actually told a pair of socks to f*** off. Yes, I swore at socks for being on the floor (where I had left them) and for being dirty (because I had worn them). Then I sat down on my floor and laughed at myself. The situation was absurd. I had other socks to wear and I knew I could do laundry on the weekend when I had more time.

I had wound myself up like a masochistic watch until my springs were ready to go twang. I needn’t have made my life as difficult as I was but I was caught up in a cycle of not stopping even when I really needed to and then getting annoyed for not stopping which then made me more tired and stressed and more in need of a break.

I made a plan for the weekend to break this cycle and I hope it helps you if you are in the same situation. There were things I needed to get done at the weekend. I needed to finish my Christmas shopping, do laundry, sort my mum’s Christmas dinner out, go to a Jazz evening and spend time with my girlfriend. All of this was achieved, but not before I gave myself a chance to breath.

I had a little lie in then I went shopping. I gave myself time to shop so it wasn’t stressful. I went to a Jazz evening. On Sunday, I did laundry, got the last of the presents bought online and paid for my mum’s Christmas dinner. Then I watched The Flash for a few hours before sorting dinner. By episode two of The Flash, I could feel myself brightening. I was happier, less grumpy and feeling rested and ready to take on the world. Rather than force myself to write a blog post that would have been rubbish, I decided to wait until Monday (aka now) to write as I knew it could wait.

That is my advice to you. Ask yourself if what you think needs doing know, really does need doing now. If it can be done later and you are stressed and tired, do not make it worse by forcing yourself to go past your breaking point. Ease your foot off the peddle and slow down. It will still be there to be done later and you will make a better job of it by being rested.

Take care buddies,

David.

 

Dave of the Week – A Positive Radio Show.

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Dave of the Week – A Positive Radio Show.

Looking for a way to beat those winter blues? Check out my radio show that focusses on happy news stories and upbeat music. Please let me know of any good news you have that you want shared or uplifting songs you know so we can spread the joy. Listen on the Mixcloud link below.

Be happy.

Personal Growth Advice From A Money Tree.

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Personal Growth Advice From A Money Tree.

I was sat in my flat last night looking at a Money Tree I have on a table. One side of it has been facing the window for a while and has grown outwards. The opposite side has been facing away from the window and has not grown that much at all. It occurred to me that I am somewhat like my Money Tree.

There are areas of my life that I have been focussing on more, such as work, domestic duties, family etc. There are other areas that I have been neglecting like writing, being romantic or having any time to simply sit and think. If some areas are being watered and put in the sun they will thrive. If others are being shunned they can shrivel and die.

What I need to do is do what I did for my money tree; I need to turn the side that is not growing around so it can face the window. There has not been much growth so far, but I can see signs of new leaves budding. Sadly, I am not a tree so it is not as simple as turning myself to face the window.

The reality is that I am struggling at the moment. It is two weeks until the end of term and I am tired all the time and frankly have no headspace left at the end of the day to do much of anything. Even writing this feels horrible and difficult. However, I do think that this is one of the first steps of letting untended aspects of my life flourish once more. Doing anything that is close to writing is better than not writing at all.

Acknowledging that I am indeed tired and a bit stressed and accepting that it does make it harder to be creative is better than giving myself a tough time for not being perfect and being able to work a full-time job, be a homemaker and still come home and write quality material. Also seeing that it makes it harder, but not impossible is some comfort.

Another thing for me to consider is that it is winter and there is not a lot of sunshine to help me grow at the moment, but growth can be a very small thing sometimes, and while it may not be fast, it is at least happening. Some growth is better than none.

I have been resisting the urge to delete this post all the time I have been writing it. I know full well it is not even close to my best work. The reason that I have not hit the delete button is that I am forcing myself to do something. I have the safety of knowing that no-one has to read this.

From my scattered thoughts I am doing my best to set down something coherent, but even then, I am not that worried. It may not be coherent. Maybe coherence will come with more practise and perseverance.

I will stop here as I can’t even tell if this makes sense. The hope is that I will come back another time and use it as a benchmark to improve my next post.

Eurgh!