Batman v Superman – What the hell are the characters thinking?

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Batman v Superman – What the hell are the characters thinking?

Let me say straight off the bat that this will contain spoilers, but not too many because the main point of this post is that I do not get what motivated the main characters in this movie. I will also say that I did not hate this movie in the same way a lot of people do. I have seen plenty of movies that were a lot worse.

My main issue with Batman v Superman is that nothing the main characters did made any sense to me. If any of them had seen a decent therapist for even one session, I think they all would have said ‘Oh, my whole reasoning is flawed and I won’t do what I had planned because it is (sorry, but I have to say this) Batshit crazy.’

I should also say that I avoided any pre-movie news or publicity, which I my way of saying that I did not know obvious things, so don’t be surprised if some of the things I am about to say seem dumb.

Final admission, I am coming at this with no real knowledge. It has simply been bothering me for a few days and I wanted to get it off my chest.

So. let’s start.

Lex Luthor Jnr (Or at least I think he is a Jnr).

I did not understand why this character did anything. At the start I did not even get that he was Lex Luthor. All I thought was Jimmy Olsen is acting a bit weird. He looked more like a Jimmy Olsen right? (Please see my explanatory comments about saying seemingly dumb stuff). I now understand that the character was meant to be Lex Luthor Jnr, but this is a problem in itself. Should a movie goer need to be fully up-to-date with movie news or DC lore to see a movie and have it make sense? Anyway, I digress.

In one scene, Lexie Jnr talks about how his dad beat him etc and grew up in poverty. Ok, fair enough. The jump from this to Superman must die is a leap that even Superman could not make. I am more than willing to say that I missed something, but I did not get an understanding of what Lex’s problem with Superman was. Or was it that Superman was too powerful and Lex was jealous? Or that Superman got it all too easy?

Why did Lex want Batman and Superman to fight if he was going to create Doomsday anyway? If you run a multi-billion dollar company like Lexcorp I would expect Lex to have a basic understanding of time-management and cost-reduction. The whole Batman plan took two years to put together and in the end it did not even work and he went with the Doomsday plan. Why not just cut to the chase and go straight to Doomsday? It is not like Lex cared about innocents dying or anything, so doesn’t it make more sense to go with the crazy strong Super-villain to begin with? Evil geniuses are not what they used to be.

There is something I have just thought of. Lex seemed bummed out that his Kryptonite was stolen by Batman. Maybe he did not know it was Batman who stole it, but shouldn’t he have wanted Batman to have it anyway if he wanted Batman to kill Superman? Lex could have just had the following conversation with Batman.

L: ‘Hey Batman, we both hate Superman right?’

B: ‘Yup.’

L: ‘Want some Kryptonite so you can kick his ass?’

B: ‘Sounds good.’

Job done.

This is my main problem with what Lex did. Why did he not give the cute Asian PA the day off instead of sending her to be blown up at the Superman hearing? Good PA’s are hard to find and she was super cute, so why not send her to do some photocopying or something? It was not like she was integral to the bombing plan. Dick move Lex.

One more thing on Lex, but I guess this is not totally his fault. Why did they shave his head at the end? Did he have lice? Was it a lice thing? Or did they think ‘Hey his Dad was bald, so maybe we should shave his head so he looks more like his Dad?’ That is some pretty messed up reasoning there Mr Prison Guard.

Wonder Woman.

Did she spend most of the movie trying to get her hands on a photo of herself from 1918? Why bother? Who would care? She could have said it was photoshopped. Or deflected attention by saying ‘Hey, wait, I might be old, but what about this Superman guy who is going around trashing cities. Let’s hate on him instead.’

This is something my brother mentioned, but why didn’t they give Wonder Woman the Kryptonite spear and let her kill Doomsday? She was doing well enough with her regular sword and shield. Imagine how well she could have done if she had a weapon made of something that Doomsday was really, really allergic too? Batman and Superman could have called it a day and gone for a cup of tea and a scone.

Superman.

Was it me or did Superman just mope around and be a complete downer in this movie? I am not letting the fact that I hate Superman cloud my judgement here (Tee hee, I totally am) but I wanted someone to slap him and say ‘Cheer up. People might hate you, but what are they going to do about it? Fly to another planet and take a break. Or, have some cake to feel better. Just lose that stupid face you are pulling in every scene.’ Superman is a twat. At this point I think it is fair to say I wouldn’t have cared if Superman’s motivations made sense.

Batman. 

As you may have guessed, the main reason I wanted to see this movie was to see Batman punch Superman in his super stupid face. I loved The Dark Knight Returns graphic novel, where this movie stems from. The difference is that the graphic novel was awesome and the movie managed to take all the best ideas and throw them in a hole in the ground instead of using them.

In the graphic novel, Superman was sent to kill Batman and Batman was up for that fight for many reasons I won’t go into now. In the movie Batman wanted to kill Superman because…err…Superman destroyed one his buildings or something? Bruce Wayne is a billionaire so he had lots of other buildings or could have built new ones. Batman destroyed a bunch of buildings in the Batwing and Batmobile, but he did not seem to be bothered about it. The same goes for Batman hating Superman because people died when Superman fought Zod. Batman killed a bunch of people too, so hypocritical doesn’t even come close.

Batman said a few time that ‘Superman could burn this whole planet to the ground.’ so he has to die. Pretty extreme reasoning there. Anyone who is a threat to the human race must die. Taken to an extreme logic, this could equate to potentially everyone is a threat to the human race, so everyone must die. I have this image of Batman being the last person alive and thinking ‘At least there are no more threats to the human race now.’

As bizarre as Batman’s reasons for hating Superman are they are nowhere near as weird as his sudden reason for not hating him. The whole fight to the death thing was ended because Batman found out Superman’s mum had the same name as his mum. Seriously. I have seen the movie and I can’t believe what I have just written.

Flip this reasoning. Superman must die because he is a threat to the human race. Batman makes the decision not kill him because their mum’s share the same name. The survival of the human race is less important than mum’s sharing a name. I think the idea was that Batman realises that Superman can’t be all that bad because he has a mum and his mum has the same name as Batman’s mum, so he is probably a good guy. This makes no sense. The name of the mother has no bearing on how the child turns out one way or the other.

I know none of this is real, and I am taking it all way too seriously, but I really wanted to love this movie. This is my getting over it. My therapy to deal with a sucky film. As I said, if they had all gone to a good therapist… Actually, if Zack Snyder had gone to a therapist with this movie idea, hopefully they would have said ‘Do not make this movie. You are thinking crazy right now.’

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About davidmbeecroft

Hello and welcome to my blog. Please feel free to have an explore. My name is David Beecroft. I am 38 years old. I co-founded and ran a small scale touring theatre company called Screwed & Clued in 1998. I went on to tour the Canadian Fringe Theatre Festival circuit over the following five years. I have written six original plays, the last ‘The Poe Show’ won a Best in Fest award at the 2014 Ottawa Fringe Festival. I worked in a social care setting for ten years and now work in a special needs school. I have sent my first novel off to agents and considering self-publishing if that does not work. I co-host a radio show on Surrey Hills Community Radio called Daves of the Week where we feature charities for a six week period. I live with my fiance and two pet Degus. I started this blog when suffering from depression and attending therapy, so a large part of this blog was about my experience and thoughts of that. Since then I am in a much better place and I write about life after depression and how I stay (or try to) ahead of it happening again. I also like to look at the happier sides of life and try to put a positive spin on serious subjects.

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