Well, ye haw (fires pistols into the air). Welcome to rootinest, darn tootinest post about my work day you ever did see. I found gold I tells ya, Gold!
(Clears throat). My apologies. I do not know what came over me. Oh actually, I do. Some American friends said ‘my English speaking ways sometimes confuse them’ so I felt I should roll out the welcome mat and give it a little yankee-doodle flair. By the way guys, I confuse many people with my English speaking ways, including other English people, so don’t feel bad. I confuse myself a lot of the time now I think about it.
So, second day on the job and I was sifting soil from stones. I honestly expected to find gold as I panned the soil. I even cleared it with my boss by saying ‘If I find gold, it is mine right?’ He just laughed and said yes because he thought I was making a joke. I was so not making a joke. I didn’t even want the gold for the money. I just wanted to be able to do my Terrance and Phillip impression from South Park and say ‘Oh look Phillip. I have found treasure.’ Sadly, there was no gold. Only rocks. Lots and lots of rocks.
I also imagined myself in a Rocky training montage as I carried around buckets of rocks. I fast-forwarded to the bit where I am super ripped in my mind, instead of the slightly flabby guy I am now in reality because, eurgh, the actual getting there is going to be really hard. Maybe, if I do enough Rocky montages in my mind, my body will respond and get ripped by itself. Yeah, that makes total sense to me. Eye of the Tiger baby! Joking aside, I do feel a little slimmer though, and it is nice exercise. One sec, there is a really weird noise coming from outside and I have to see what it is.
Be right back.
Holy shit. I do not know what sort of bird makes that noise but it is terrifying. I have shut the windows to be on the safe side. Now, where was I? Oh yes, I cocked up my post gardening bath. I used up all the hot water and put too much cold in. So, I just lay in a cold bath for a bit as I didn’t want to waste the water. Now, I am off for another food tasting session. The things I do to keep writing.
Take care buddies,
David.
David M. Beecroft 